Kobold

The Truths

Ninety-five percent of all Kobolds live underground and will never be seen by the likes of you. Kobolds farm their own food, mine their own ore, and smelt their own metals. They create everything they need on their own.( They did after all invent EVERYTING.) Unlike other races who raid pinkies out of parasitic necessity, they do it out of pure spite. Spite is what makes a Kobold get up in the morning and lets them rest easy in the night. Droogs burn crops, not eat them. They burn whole forests down so elfies can't hide in them. They burn down anything that might benefit a pinky. They poison water that pinkies drink or even might drink. They will hide diseased garbage in big pinky cities and they will slaughter the livestock of pinkies and let it rot. They will steal the wealth of pinkies and claim it as their own. They wear it as trophies of grand deeds. This is why Kobolds are obsessed with shinies. To them, it is proof of a new deed or act. It is very important for a Droog member to be seen with lots of shinies on so other Kobolds know that he is important.

Racial Subsets

There are two subsets of Kobolds you’re going to find in the wild:

Asheaters

Kobolds can and do eat EVERYTHING. In fact in some more rural towns deep deep down this has led to the belief that a Kobold can get stronger by eating certain things. and only those certain things This has led to the Asheater Kobold. Asheaters are not only the fire experts that are in a Droog, but they also eat only the ash of their enemies. Enemies can usually be defined as the bodies, crops, livestock, buildings forests or basically anything associated with pinky.

Most Asheaters believe that the ash they eat gives them more power and wisdom, that they gain the power of whatever they have burned and eaten. Each Asheater has their own beliefs and reasoning to why they burn and eat the Ash, no reason will be the same.

Eating only ash kind of makes these Kobolds a little crazy. It's best not to get to close to these Kobolds because they pride themselves on hunting and killing whatever is in their way, and sometimes just burn for fun.

Asheaters have a permanent grey blob around their mouth, neck and on their hands. Their garb is of normal Kobold colors but has long since been singed all over and darkened grey from the ash, mainly around the sleeves and front of their shirt.

Ugagagaba Fanatics

Like said above the Kobold God of awesomenss is something we made up to add to the greater confusion, there be some Kobolds who don’t get it. Sometimes these believers are Droog worthy. These Kobolds dress and look like normal Kobolds, but they will always be spouting off stuff about the great and one true god. It is very funny. They also always smite down their enemies in the name of Ugagagaba. It be very cool

Appearance

Physical

Kobolds come in all sorts of colors, they are usually some shade of orange, (like yellow orange, brown orange, etc.) have an orange underside, or orange blobs. The colour has nothing to do with class or genetics, and is fairly random.

Fashion

Kobolds in addition to wearing all sorts of shinies like to wear multicolored striped fabric of somewhat bright color. The brighter the colour, the higher status they are. It used to be known that these Kobolds would go out to slaughter after heavy rainfall. Their colours would be so bright and reflective that it created rainbows, this became an ancient warning that the Kobolds were coming, and slaughter was eminent. Again, the more fancy the fabric the more important the Kobold. There is a Kobold legend regarding an unnamed Kobold Hero who got caught in an elf trap and gnawed his own arm off. Kobold who wish to be seen as of high rank or of a 'pious' nature will always wear garb that leaves the right sleeve bared to represent the rebounding nature of the Kobold.

Physiology

Most Kobolds are not strong. In fact they be very weak in body and have eyes that can't stand the light. However, all Kobolds have very very very strong minds and be very clever. Kobolds have only two organs: a massive brain and a massive stomach. They like to eat a lot and can digest anything. Their brains are huge to help them trick everyone.

Reproduction

Kobolds are born from eggs that are laid by a female in large clutches, and then sent to a special cavern that contains many many eggs and young Kobolds. Here they are born and raised by a rare female that isn't in government. They are then taught all sorts of things they like to know (such as how to invent everything.)

When Kobolds die, the nutrients from the Kobold body will feed the spawn of the next Kobold that will grow inside the body of the dead one, The new Kobold will shed the skin of the old one, and uses the armour, clothes and weapons the old one had!

Droogs and Leadership

Kobolds have a very complex and complicated system of government and organization that all non-Kobolds be waaaaay too non-Kobold(i.e. dumb) to understand. HOWEVER we will try.

Female Kobolds usually are in charge of various offices underground, it is a very great system of bureaucracy. Also, most Kobolds are weak and can’t stand the light. However some Kobolds wander all over above ground lands in groups called Droogs. Droogs are separated by territorial boundaries that have been passed down from generations. The purpose of a Droog is to burn down the lands of pinkies, get shinies, then collect poisons from plants and animals and ship these goods to the Moseewaa. There are three types of Droogs; a Droog Boss, an Odroog and a Kdroog. It is the job of these Kobolds to represent Koboldom as a whole.

For a long time, it was believed that females did not exist in droogs, because none ever came to the surface. It was assumed by many that they (a) were too bossy in government to bother going out into the world, (b) were not strong enough, or (c) were too busy telling other Kobolds what to do in government. However, there are now many female Kobolds that walk the surface. In order for a female Kobold to be in a Droog she would need to be just as tough as a male Kobold in a Droog and also hate being boss of a government office.

Droog Boss

Each territory that has a droog also has a Droog Boss. Becoming a Droog Boss is dictated by respect. Your territory should decide amongst themselves who the Droog Boss should be. A Droog Boss is the strongest, smartest, toughest Kobold that resides in a territory, but more importantly one that commands the most respect. Being a Droog Boss means that you represent your territory as a whole. You should have the basic understanding of what it takes to be a Kobold, whether that be through our true stories, fighting, epic rap battles, or having the most shinies.

Currently, when a Kobold challenges for the position of Droog Boss, a vote will be called at a large event which draws a majority of the Kobolds in that territory. All Kobolds will determine any pre-vote rituals that must take place (fighting, story time, riddle telling, shinies show and tell) before voting on who they wish to represent them. If they cannot come to a decision themselves it should be brought into the Kobold Nation where candidates shall plead a case and it will be up for debate. Their overall community involvement will be looked into and through democracy a Droog Boss will be chosen. At anytime your territory or the Kobold Nation decides you are unfit the process will start again.

Odroog

Some Kobolds be so tough and big and smart that they do not need other Kobolds in their Droog, so they be by themselves. These Kobolds determine who they are. There is no other way to determine who is in charge of an Odroog because an Odroog be in charge of themselves. This can be because they are loners and simply prefer not to be in the company of other Kobolds, or because there are no other Kobolds in their territory.

Kdroog

The meanest, toughest, strongest and smartest Odroog or Droog Boss is also Boss of all Droog Bosses. They represent Koboldom as a whole.

To become the Kdroog, this Kobold should be a prime example of Kobolds and what they are. They should be able to answer questions and tell stories of past Kobolds. This Kobold should be looked to as a source of inspiration, as well as respected by other Kobolds.

Moseewaa

The great Kobold city of Moseewaa is where most Kobolds live. This is a large city deep deep deep underground. It is the size of a large city above ground and has about 3 million Kobolds living in it. The underdark is also scattered with much smaller settlements and mining facilities. Also there are small colonies above ground. These are stationary towns that are either in shallow mining complexes in mountains, old ruins, or even in rare places total above ground houses that are deep deep in dark jungles and forest.

All wealth that is not claimed as a trophy by a Droog member is sent to Moseewaa as decorations for their important places so Kobolds can see publicly how important they are as a whole. These decorations will have the name of the Droog or Odroog that acquired the wealth. In this way, Droog gain admiration and fame from the Kobold public.

You can’t go to Moseewa either. Kobolds don’t like non-Kobolds, like you, there.

Government

Female Kobolds usually are in charge of various offices underground. There be no king or queen or anything like that. In fact underground there are just bosses of various departments and some bosses have power over other bosses while those have in turn have power over other bosses. It be a very great system of bureaucracy. The fact that females are usually in charge underground, combined with their rarity and their shared physical weakness with men Kobolds, means that the womens are almost never ever above ground in a Droog. That’s why yous never see them.

Religion

Kobolds by nature are atheists. Most of them believe that there was earth with everything on it. Then Kobolds came around, saw that it was awesome, and started making it more awesome by living there. Then "Gods" came and made other larger stronger but not as smart beings. With the advent of these new beings Kobolds were forced underground and after time grew sensitive to light. They are very very bitter about this. So they HATE elfies, humans, dwarves and all other pinkies. They have no record of other monsters driving them down so they have no beef with them. They invented the God Ugagagaba as part joke and part protection to fool other non Kobolds, though there be a few Kobolds who not get the joke and think he is real. These be Ugagagaba Fanatics. They keep them around and let them believe because it adds to the great confusion. This bitterness is the driving purpose of the Droog.

See Also: The First Kobold

Language

Kobolds acquired the ability to use complex systems of communication, the languages Kobolds invented have evolved and diversified over time. The evolution of these languages have been reconstructed through comparing modern languages to the ancestral language. Every language spoken has descended from a common ancestor known as the language family or the Koboldabet.

Koboldabet

The Koboldabet is a language that Kobolds speak, it is an old and ancient language. It consists of 26 symbols. Every word in the world is consisted of these symbols. Some monster kinds were able to pick up this language simply, others took time, but no matter how hard they tried, the pinkies could not understand the simplicity of the Koboldabet. They took to grunting at each other to figure out what they wanted, it became a source of entertainment to most monsters.

Over time the Kobolds grew tired of listening to the pinkies grunt and decided to create a simpler language that the pinkies brains could understand. They created the Alphabet, it consisted of the same 26 symbols of the Koboldabet, but instead of symbols they were now called letters. The Kobolds noticed when the Pinkies tried to use the Koboldabet they had certain grunts they would use, the Kobolds decided that they would create phonemes for the pinkies. It was a unit of sound that distinguished one sound from another. Quickly the pinkies caught on to the language and the Monster Races no longer had to listen to their grunts, but could freely communicate with the pinkies when needed.

Soon news spread of this new language and other races wanted their own language. The Kobolds when they felt evolved and reconstructed languages to suit the other races needs using the Koboldabet as their guide.

Kobolds are now for the most part, the only race to still speak The Koboldabet, but it will forever be the foundation of all communication.

The Kober System

The Kober System is what Kobolds invented when they needed to count. They start at Zero and go to Nine. Then from these numbers you make bigger numbers and TADA you can now count. It is a very useful tool when counting Goblins, cause yeesh, there be so many of them. At least Seven.

- Get it? Kobold... Get it? - Rumble

Current Kobolds

Name	Current Title(s)	Realm	Droog Type
Shrat	Kobold Prime	N/A	N/A
Mekoot Silo	Ashbringer	Rath	Kobold
Kodite	Privilege Checker	Thunder Guard	Kobold
Puck	---	Alera	Asheater
Mouse	---	Alera	Ugagagaba Fanatic
Sweet	Grand Baron of Peas and Ale; Coroner of	Sand Plains	Kobold
Plague	KDroog	Derzek	Kobold
Pip	Taunter of Tetris	Tolaria	Asheater
Kib	Bringer of Hydration	Sunspear	Ugagagaba Fanatic
Brinda	The Corrector	Derzek	Kobold
Krash	The Chafed, The Skirted	The Void	Kobold
Scierpan	---	Nogrod	Asheater
Rebekah	Queen Of Dogs	Southern Eyrie	Kobold
Red the Kobold	---	Stygia	Asheater
Aelin	Sparkle Bean	Tir Asleen	Kobold
Sylph	---	Tir Asleen	Kobold
Adalhaide	The Nicest Kobold	Frozen North	Kobold
Rag Man	---	Sand Plains	Kobold
Fading Shadow	---	California	Ugagagaba Fanatic
Galen	---	California	Kobold
Khaonix	---	California	Kobold
Bortusk	---	Minas Ithil	---
Shifty	---	Nan Belegorn	---
Kos	---	---	---
Khurbin J. Brodhur Jr.	---	---	---
Shields	---	Tolaria	Kobold