The Cerberus

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The Cerberus

The Cerberus is a pirate ship operating out of The Iron Forest. Her mission statement is to pillage, plunder, drink, sing, and be merry.



Type: Race-Built Galleon


Length: 180 ft

Beam: 37 ft.

Displacement: 1900 Tons

Draught: 12.5 ft.

Speed: 10 Knots

Armament: 44 Guns

Upper Deck: 15 X 36lb Long Guns

Gun Deck: 20 X 36lb Long Guns

Bow: 2 X 24lb Bow Chasers

Stern: 2 X 24lb Stern Chasers

Aft Deck: 2 Swivel Guns

Forecastle: 2 Swivel Guns


The Cerberus, faster and more heavily armed than most ships of its size, casts an imposing figure across the ocean. Her figurehead is an ebony carved statue of her namesake, the three-headed dog Cerberus.


Crew Chain of Command

The Cerberus is home to the unit Crew of the Cerberus (Sometimes called The Cerberus Crew and simply The Cerberus). Though the unit's primary function is barding and merriment, they do muster arms in order to plunder, pillage, and generally cause mayhem and destruction on the battlefield. Primarily, their combat function is flanking and line-breaking; smashing through enemy lines with daring boarding parties or even "sailing The Cerberus". The unit had gained great notoriety amongst many midwestern Belegarth realms for their pleasing voices, bawdy lyrics, and legendary capacity for drink, but for reasons unknown The Cerberus stopped sailing for a number of years. After some time a young Frog by the name of Bug found the derelict Cerberus and decided it was too grand to be left to rot. After mustering his bravery and eating a lot of peanut butter he found, he noticed a dingy being pulled by rope attached to the stern and in it was found Hammer. Now bolstered with companionship and a member of the "lost crew" he decided that there should be more friends upon this mighty ship. After some travels to different ports Therek and Kiwi had been recruited. After some more sailing Fez joined and they noticed they had picked up Rocks and no one said anything about him. With time and after a guy got shoved off while tied to an anchor, beaten, run over with the ship a few times... they have recruited a few petitioners and since made members, Merlin and Pidgeon. On one adventure they took a trip to the far away lands of Wisconsin and had the worst camping trip ever, no seriously any spring wars was better, they invented the dish "Schlokle" which must be made by an ordeal ritual or else it will not work. After a few years Bug had decided to step down as sailing captain and a vote was taken to appoint a new captain and so the Cerberus sails under Captain Rocks, may the gods have mercy why that guy... Most of the crew can be found at events around Hammers trading post or on the field fighting, Captain Rocks can usually be found eating. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Cerberus to make it worse but have a great time doing so.

Enlistment is by invitation only. Ranks are:

Captain: Leader of the Crew

Senior Officers: The Captain's right and left hands

- Quartermaster: Treasurer and Logistics

- First Mate: PR

Junior Officers: General officers delegated responsibilities by the Captain

- Bosun/Boatswain: Head of the Junior Officers Crew morale and relations.

- Master Gunner: Armorer, in charge of storing and maintaining loaner weapons.

- Master Carpenter: Campsite planning and in charge of loaner tents.

- Navigator: Trip planning and navigation

- Ship's Surgeon: Responsible for crew medicine bag and other first aid.

- Master Rigger: Flag keeper. Responsible for handling of the colors at events.

- Helmsman: Transportation to and from events.

- Ship's Cook: Cooking for and feeding the crew

Mates: Full members in good standing

Cabin Boys/Lasses: Petitioners

Crew Roster

Captain: Rocks

Senior Officers:

Quartermaster: Therek

First Officer: Hammer

Junior Officers:

Bosun/Boatswain: Fez

Master Gunner: Pidgeon

Navigator: Kiwi

Ship's Surgeon: Merlin

Master Rigger: Bug

Helmsman: Vacant

Master Carpenter: Vacant

Ship's Cook: Vacant


Lost Crew:



Das Bear







Cabin Boys/Lasses


Honorary Crew Members:



  • The mainmast is named "Calico's Dick" after the ship's first captain.
  • Beowulf's quarters currently house a five year supply of peanut butter for unfathomable reasons.
  • Beowulf doesn't eat peanut butter.
  • Wolfy however really likes licking peanut butter.
  • A former Captain, Tossk, is also the King of the Gnolls
  • 2 members (Bug and Rocks) and a petitioner (Pidgeon) won "Best in Show" at 2023 Armageddon Fizzball for "interpretive use of chocolate sauce"

Schlokle Recipe

Step one. Put Bug in charge of bratz, he MUST fail this step. Step two. Rocks must antagonize Bug until the latter loses their collective shit, then yells "fuck it" and makes Schlokle from failed bratz, ricotta cheese, caramelized onions, and one potato. Step three. Very important step! Have Fez taste test for poison. If it's not poisoned good luck getting any from Fez, if it is poisoned, have at it. Step four. After you get rained out, find pan of Schokle in a bag, reheat, good to go.

Crew Requirements

Garb: Though we primarily take influence from early 18th century Caribbean pirates (The Golden age of Piracy), any pirate related garb is encouraged. This includes, but is not limited to, 17th-19th Century Barbary pirates, Chinese pirates such as Chingh Shih, Pirates and privateers of the Napoleonic wars, and even Vikings.

Petitioning: Acceptance into the crew is by invitation only. Your best chance of being invited to join is to hang out with us and let us get to know you.

Initiation: Before a Cabin Boy or Cabin Lass can become a Mate, they must lead a song for the rest of the crew. This rite of entry will usually be performed at camp. The Captain will assign a song to the Cabin Boy/Lass before an event and it will be their responsibility to learn it and perform it in front of all members of the crew assembled. Then, they will be given their belt flag and declared a member of the crew. Newly minted mates are not required to sing their song while out barding, but may if they so desire.

Age: All petitioners must be at least 18 years of age or must turn 18 prior to their initiation. With rare exception, petitioners under the age of 21 are not accepted.

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