Frog-Folk

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Hop, Smash, Nom. 🐸

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In the beginning...

there were billions of the Frog-Folk, zillions and jillions and dozens of them. They had a generous God, and It gave them a world of things to hop over, to smash, and to nom. The frog-folk were happy. But one day, the Frog God fell asleep, and It's children found nothing that could wake It up. Soon, the frog-folk had eaten all the things in the world, and they were still were hungry. So, finally, they ate their sleeping God.

After this, each of the frogs had a piece of god inside of them. All of the things became theirs to hop over, to smash, and to nom. One day in this age of prosperity, a Frog-person sat and pondered the story of their fractured deity. If they were to eat all of the other Frog-Folk, they reasoned, then they would become God. This realization was the beginning of the Great Frog-Folk Genocide.

Finally, after eating the last of their brethren, the last Frog stood alone. Before them appeared a strange, new deity, it's form alien and bird-ish. It approached the last Frog-folk, and said to them, “I’ve never seen a creature with such a capacity for destruction. Kill in my name, and I will ensure that you, and creatures in your image, out number the stars.” Unable to figure out how to swallow the strange new god, the Frog agreed. Now wherever peace and prosperity reign, the last Frog and their eternal children bestow their blessing, and new frogs hop from the ashes of the chaos.

Frog-Folk Fun Facts

•There are several in your house, right now.

•They share one gender between them, but no one can remember who had it last.

•Every single one can fit their whole fist in their mouth, but only for an upfront fee.

How to Hatch a Frog-Person

Watermelons are the eggs of the Frog-Folk. Break one open with your hands, and let the frog inside you free.

Frogs

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