Akbar the Foul
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FACT ALERT: If you let Akbar on the internet at your home/work when we ban the IP, that means you can't get on either. |
Akbar the Foul is a miserable fat fuck who contributes nothing to the game and dwells in his father's basement trolling the board when not masturbating his micropenis furiously to German scat porn.
History
In the fall of 2000 some nameless turd hired a tow truck to haul a pathetic fat body out to a Crimson Fields duchy practice in the Southern Marches. Horrified by the quivering mass of flesh jiggling about on the field before them, they named it Akbar the Foul, because it had a beard and assumed it was a terrorist. They had no idea how right they were.
Several months later in 2001, Akbar was rolled up north to the Delaware shore, where there is nothing to do but get drunk or smoke crack. Eventually some kind souls mistook him for a beached whale and dumped him into the Chesapeake Bay, where he floated to Aratari lands and partook in several events. The Aratari, upon beholding this corpulent monstrosity, greeted him with a gang rape.
Reeling from this traumatic loss of his virginity, Akbar roamed about for a few years before settling back down in the Crimson Fields again. A conspiracy was then orchestrated by a sick fuck that eventually resulted in Akbar becoming a War Council Represenative and a few months later, the Realm Leader.
Months later, when the various drugs and alcohol used to placate him wore off, Akbar ran sped jogged rolled away from the Southern Marches forever, leaving it rudderless and adrift. Eventually a new fatty was found to take his place.
Recently, Akbar was banned for posting screen shots of known security exploits on the Fireboard. The Administrator, having taken Computer Science III, cried "ZOMG HAX" and DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING after hitting Akbar hard with the B&Hammer. Some people say that this was a fair decision, while others, thinking this was an anti-Bush rally, started to scream about fascism. Unfortunately, Akbar keeps sneaking back onto the board to express his dismay at the deteriorating mental state of the Administrator, who shall remain nameless.
Akbar is also a newly ordained minister of the Universal Life Church and would be more than happy to perform any weddings, baptisms, or exorcisms for those visiting southeast Pennsylvania and the greater tri-state area. He also prefers to be paid with liquor.
It should also be noted that while most vandalisms to this page are reverted by the Administrative staff, they are all 100% true. Especially the part about being gay for Snacks.