Pirates Versus Ninjas

There has been a long standing debate in Belegarth and across the internet between Pirates and Ninjas as to which one of the two are better.

Why Pirates are better(only positives)

• They know how to sail.
• They have rum.
• They sing jolly good tales of rape and pillage.
• They rape and pillage.
• They learned how to beat scurvy.
• They won on the forums 67% to 33 % [1]
• They have a National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yar!
• Forkbeard's on our side.
• They've got a starboard, port, aft and stern.
• Johnny Depp.
• Pirate booty.
• Stylish accessorizable hooks.
• They have canons.
• Jolly Rogers look really cool.
• They have guns
• There were hot female pirates, just lookin for some booty
• They get to cheat!

Why Ninjas are better(only positives)

• Have deadly accuracy
• Have Multiple Shurikens with fast and accurate abilities
• Imune to pain
• NEVER give into interragation
• can run Hundred Miles withoute stopping
• Can dislocate Limbs to escape restraints
• Can walk on hands to avoid stumbling on furnishings
• Can Hide in plain sight
• Has mastered multiple weaponry tactics
• Gewd Ninjas got mad infilitration and sneakiness skillz
• ninjas know what a shield is, they just opt not to use one because it only slows them down
• Have a wide variety of super awesome weapons and tools
• Can block bullets
• Totally rad guitar skills
• May or may not be robots
• Can fly
• Ninjas can rape and pillage as effectively as a pirate can, but they can do it without being caught. Undetected rape is especially impressive.
• Kumitsu Hayabusa, the Urban Ninja [2]
• Can cut buildings in half
• Don't need to edit out the pirates' positives to win the contest

Why Ninjas suck(only negatives)

• Don't know what a shield is
• They have legions of fanboys following them. The fanboys know nothing about them.
• Anime has killed any coolness they may have once possessed
• Zanark likes them.
• They respect life
• They suck at highjacking ships
• RealUltimatePower.net

Why Pirates suck(only negatives)

• After 9 months a sea and only salty ocean baths they stink
• Orlando Bloom
• They get more Poon Tang. You might not think this is a negative, but then you start to think about the fact that about 95% of their time is spent on a ship with other guys and you realize where most of the poon tang comes from.
• Low IQ
• Wooden legs make for poor balance
• Pirate guns can only fire once before needing three minutes to reload (Which is useless anyway because ninjas can block bullets)
• Pirate swords aren't as good as ninja swords
• Prone to alcoholism
• Apparently, they can't win the Geddon.org Pirates vs. Ninja contest without editing away the ninja's positives.

See Also

• Ninjas
• Pirates