Pirates Versus Ninjas

There has been a long standing debate in Belegarth and across the internet between Pirates and Ninjas as to which one of the two are better.

Why Pirates are better(only positives)

• They know how to sail.
• They have rum.
• They sing jolly good tales of rape and pillage.
• They rape and pillage.
• They learned how to beat scurvy.
• They won on the forums 67% to 33 % [1]
• They have a National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Yar!
• Forkbeard's on our side.
• They've got a starboard, port, aft and stern.
• Johnny Depp.
• Pirate booty.
• Stylish accessorizable hooks.
• They have canons.
• Jolly Rogers look really cool.

Why Ninjas are better(only positives)

we, the ninjas, do truly admit our suckery. we bow down to the pirates and allow them to dominate our women with their horizontal happy holes

Why Ninjas suck(only negatives)

• Don't know what a shield is
• They have legions of fanboys following them. The fanboys know nothing about them.
• Anime has killed any coolness they may have once possessed
• They can't fly
• Zanark likes them.
• Have deadly accuracy
• Have Multiple Shurikens with fast and accurate abilities
• Imune to pain
• NEVER give into interragation
• can run Hundred Miles withoute stopping
• Can dislocate Limbs to escape restraints
• Can walk on hands to avoid stumbling on furnishings
• Can Hide in plain sight
• Has mastered multiple weaponry tactics
• Gewd Ninjas got mad infilitration and sneakiness skillz
• ninjas know what a shield is, they just opt not to use one because it only slows them down
• Have a wide variety of super awesome weapons and tools

Why Pirates suck(only negatives)

• After 9 months a sea and only salty ocean baths they stink
• Orlando Bloom
• They get more Poon Tang. You might not think this is a negative, but then you start to think about the fact that about 95% of their time is spent on a ship with other guys and you realize where most of the poon tang comes from.

See Also

• Ninjas
• Pirates