The Ballad of Calico

The Ballad of Calico is a drinking song by an unknown author about the Pirate, Calico. It tells a popular version of the events leading to Calico's command of The Cerberus in which he is an officer in the Royal Navy and seduces the Captain's daughter for which he is put in the brig. While imprisoned, the ship is overtaken by sirens who kill the crew and descend on Calico. He fends off their advances by using their own method, singing, to seduce them and, after presumably bedding them all, convinces them to help him sail the ship to Florida. The song finishes by warning all listeners that, should Calico come to their town, he will consume all of their liquor and steal away all of the women, potentially sparing all other goods and the lives of the male inhabitants. The song also includes a double entendre usage of the word "sword" in the lyric "With your sword and your sabre, you'll give them a whirl." In this case, "sabre" refers to an actual blade while "sword" refers to his anatomy.

Lyrics

Calico was a sailor

He set out to sea

Some say a Lieutenant

In the Royal Navy

But one day a fair lass

She captured his eye

Twas his own Captain’s daughter

Left him high and dry

(Chorus) Heave away ye drunk bastard

Flirt with all the girls

With your sword and your sabre

You’ll give ‘em a whirl

Though ye may say he’s lucky

I’ll have yis to know

It’s the charm of the Pirate

They call Calico

Calico sat a prisoner

Alone in a cell

In the brig of the ship that

He knew oh so well

When the song of an angel

It cut through the night

And all hands upon deck

Were awed at the sight

(Chorus)

For above decks some sirens

A hundred or more

Climbed the sides of the ship

Like the legends of yore

And they sung their sweet song

To the hypnotized crew

Who in their dulled senses

Together were slew

But belowdecks old Calico

He heard the whole thing

As the sirens descended

Their judgment to bring

And they sang their song well

His firmness to crack

But to their surprise

He sang them one back

(Chorus)

Now it may be a legend

But I says it’s true

That the ship made its way

With a fanciful crew

With flushed heaving bosoms

And weak shaking knees

The sirens sailed Calico to the Florida Keys

(Chorus)

Let this be a warning

I’m here to report

Should Calico’s ship

Sail into your port

You mayn’t lose your money

You mayn’t lose your life

But you shall lose your liquor

Your daughter, and wife

(Chorus) X2