Half-Brained Hounds

The Hounds

The Half-Brained Hounds are the dog members of Bunny's family, and get their title from the fact that they only have half a brain combined, and that Bunny needs to be more specific when describing what she wants in a dog. She always says one, maybe two, things that she wants in a dog, and while she gets these things, the dog ends up missing other aspects that Bunny didn't think she needed to specify. Either way, these are her dogs, and they make it their duty to investigate and greet all who enter their home (or camp). All are welcomed by them (usually) but one must be wary of the wiggles, the tip-taps, the bounds, and the slobber.

Mila

Breed: Fairfield bird-dog, Fairfield sight-hound, Sandwich island bird-dog, Saint Bernard-Whippet mix, 12% Donkey, Mutt of the Highest Order, 80 lbs cat, 12% Other, 25% Doberman, 25% Boxer, 12.5% Rottweiler, 12.5% Weimaraner, 12.5% Lab, 12.5% misc. hound/guard breeds from somewhere down the line

Born: April 4, 2016

Adopted: July 7, 2016

History

Originally born of two feral dogs in Fairfield county, Iowa, in a farmers barn, where she would live until one day when the farmer stole Mila and her siblings. The farmer brought the puppies to Noah's Ark Animal Foundation where Mila would continue to grow. A few months later, her life would change again when she would be adopted by Bunny and her family. She was brought to a new home full of love, play, and tables. She also gained a brother that day, Tony, the Lab/Boxer/Hound mix. whom she would play and chase and annoy until his death 8 years later. It wasn't until a few years after that she would once again gain a brother in the form of Wally.

Fun Facts

Once ate ~20 capsules of Bunny's Adderall
Lost the verrrry tip of tail after a door was closed on it
Likes to splash about in the water but not actually swim
Loves to frolic through the field and prairie
Likes laying under the end tables in her home
Likes to curl up in arm chairs
Eats flies
Does her own nails
Snorts at people

Fears

Gazebos
Pavilions
Storm drains
Door ways
Structures in the woods
Brick buildings
Aisle openings
Stairs without a backing to them
Storms
Fireworks
Camp ground bathrooms
Being left alone at camp sites

Wally

Breed: Basset Hound, Basshole, Circle Hound, Entitlement in Dog Form, Donut Dog, Bossy Beaver

Born: April 20, 2021

Adopted: March 21, 2026

History

Originally belonging to the son of one of Bunny's coworkers, he was unable to continue living with them after the son got a new job and couldn't take Wally with him. The coworker couldn't keep Wally either due to Wally arrogance and poor body size awareness, he did not get along with her own dog. Faced with this dilemma, the coworker reached out to Bunny, whom was looking to get a Basset Hound at the time. After a brief home assessment to see if Wally would be a good fit there, Wally would officially be welcomed in to Bunny's family.

Fun Facts

Was born with a kink at the base of his tail
Sploots
Is extremely entitled
Is extraordinarily confident
Will lay down in your lap, even if you are in a small chair
Always wants pets and attention
Thinks that he is very fast
He worms
If you go on a car ride, you MUST take him with you
Is stinky. Stinky body, stinky breath, stinky attitude
Solar powered
Very, very poor communication skills
Takes bed time very seriously

Fears

Getting his nails trimmed
Not being petted for five minutes
Dinner being late
Air Jail
Interrupted naps
Baths
The vacuum

Lore

Prince Wally of Basshole was an arrogant, entitled heir. Extremely proud of his tight completion and tiny ears (a symbol of prowess among his people) he would demand all to admire him. "Observe my razor sharp jawline! All you common folk must admire my perfection!", he would shout. One day, the arrogant prince gathers a crowd to hunt down the vile Chimera of Fairfield Forest. Many of the villagers feared for their lives, facing such a powerful beast but Wally disregarded their concerns and knowledge. Wally cheers, "No creature of such disproportionate, baggy hideousness can dare live in my kingdom! I am WALLY, the unmatchable and I will easily defeat her single-handed!

The torch baring crowd approached the low ceiling den of Mila the Chimera (or Chi-Mila) chanting threats and insults. Mila cried and trembled in her small den. She was hurt by their cruel words, she didn't understand why humans were always so mean to her, she had never hurt anyone and just wanted friends, family, and to be loved. As they arrived a fiercely dressed sorceress, with odd beastly markings, blocked the path. The sorceress speaks, "You will not harass or harm this gentle hearted creature! Do not judge less you be judged!"

Wally charged the Sorceress, mocking her majestic tail, and tried to crush her under his glorious weight. The sorceress cried out, "Basshole! Today I make your hearts and bodies align!" With a flash the arrogant, elegant prince shrunk into a basset hound of great stink. Mila crawled out of her den, a gentle bird dog of misaligned proportions. The villagers were turned into endless hellion children to run feral in the forest.

The cursed kingdom continued in wild disarray until one afternoon a drunken, cheerful Troll named Bunny wandered in looking for a place to nap. She was amused these strange hounds, with their comical proportions and decided that they were to be her own canine companions. She gathered the chaotic horde and the hounds, making them her own, to be feared by all the realms.