Elon Gator the Master Baitor

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Before Captain Thi Kwineear ascended into penguin demi-god status, he lead a fearsome multiracial crew for tax benefits. During one of his privateer contracts, he was assigned to take on the fleet of the legendary warlord Dingleberry Fagglepuss. As he neared Colon Tear Cove, he readied his crew of 20 to face off against Fagglepuss' 1200 ships each manned with 40 Veitnamese pygmy orphans.

"Now some of you have expressed worry that we will almost certainly die today, and I'm here to say.....that is spot on"


Out gunned and out matched, the Captain's ship ( The Rimjaw) was surrounded by dozens of galleons ready to finish him off. Courageously using his first mate as a human shield, Thick Wiener ordered his crew to board the other vessels and take out as many Vietnamese orphans as they could.

Hours passed as the battle ensued, with the mighty captain deciding to end the fight by fashioning a nuclear bomb out of a toothpick, and a box of stuffed parakeets, before detonating it over the pacific.


He was thought dead, when in fact the mighty captain had washed ashore of Lemur island, during the naming trials.


Elon, a young lemur was in the middle of wrastling an alligator as the body of the greatest most perfect handsome sexual being washed up on the beach, unconscious but erect. the Lemur rushed to the sleeping pirate, and gave him trouser CPR until he awoke. Coughinhg, the Captain thanked Elon, and vowed that when he rebuilt his crew for the fifth time, the Lemur could join

" But I dont want to be a pirate, I want to be an accountant" Elon muttered as the Captain zipped up his pants.

" I can argue with you later thin lips, but it appears that Albert was no Gator, twas a reptilian Triclitian" he points to the creature in teh middle of it transformation.


Reptilian Triclitian disguises itself as a harmless aligator when in fact it is a salamander! Elon gasped in horror as the salamander neared the two, ready to finish two weakened foes. The Captain used his instincs to grab Elon, and hurl him into the mouth o the Triclitian, as he ran away to the nearby lemur village.

The village gasped in shock at the Captain's muscular thighs that could crack walnuts, unaware of the Salamander sprinting towards their collective domicile.

" Hey , theeres a thing" the Captain managed to say before the Salamander had arrived, and it roared a might roar before keeling over and dying from dehydration.

The creature lay lifeless, and as the crowd gathered around it.

A rumble from the stomach of the beat frightened the crowd, when burst forth Elon! Gasping for air, he was procalimed the hero the village, and given his true name Elon Gator the Master Baitor.



Joining the Thick Weiner Pirates, Elon Gator made a name for himself as the greatest Lemur who ever lived. He participated in the battle of the Sea Deer with Xar Xar and Eiffel towered many a wench with the Captain.

Became the next Pirate King after Thick Weiner ascended into Demi-God status

He was the last musketeer at the Trident of Speedo


Outdrank a scotsman


Started his own cologne brand : Flemingeaux

Was a sponsor of the Black Lives Energy movement.



As the second great Pirate King, Elon soon grew bored of his unstoppable unstoppableness, and decided to do some good in this world, so he set out to gethis acounting degree.


Along the way, he was recruited by Armored Penguins and occasionaly assists with their battles.

he occasionally questions his existence