Wizard Council

Revision as of 03:54, 16 October 2018

Born from frothy beginnings, The Wizard Council is a modern-day supergroup of legendary killers, thrillers, and miller beer spillers. First assembled at Chaos Wars 16 and continuing to this day, the Wiz-Hards are a swarthy gang of playboy zap-chuckers, drunk ass silver-beards, & potion peddlers with that certain spicy sway. Mostly just stoners, adventurers, and drunk people. ZERDS. Many posers and dirty casuals, after dawning a hat for an event, or playing Wizard Staff one night will claim Wizard heritage, but sorry it's not that simple, and the road to true DARPing Wizardry takes more than a cool name and a drunk night. Wizarding is a lifestyle. So listen up you skanks and peasants...

• Is a storm a brewin' set to fuck up your party-picnic? Are horny ass ogres on the loose in your backyard? Did a shithead necromancer just bring your dead dog back to life? We handle that shit. Call us. We wiz.

• Street Cred: http://www.vice.com/read/LARP-harder

Wizards Of Note

The Original Nine Council Wizards

• Radaghast the Brown: Kade (bird magick)
• Metatron the Blue: Troll (word magick, inventor of robot magick)
• Shabazz the Green: Coop (nature magick)
• Guildenstern the Gold: Kurgan (key magick)
• Alexander the White: Aleksii (cultural appropriation magick)
• Pontius the Purple: Itan (purple magick? duh.)
• Semen-X the Blur: Bishop (time magick, caretaker of the time matrix)
• Maldar the Magician: Bodmin (illusion magick)
• Squim Squam the Shaman: Juicer (diversity hire)

Full-Time Members

• Rosencrantz the Red: Fish (red-eye dank magick)
• Orgent the Orange: Argent (laughing magick)
• Faticus the Bland: Brute (master of cantrips)
• Man-O-Beer the Weird: Melee Moses (alcohol magick)
• Bilbongus the Percolated: Bilbo (tasty magick)
• Bartlby the Baked, AK47 (aka) the Black: Uargvak (black magick)
• Synthesus the Mellodick: Sare (shredulation magick)
• Def the Leopard: Ace (the dude Ace) (butt-rock magick)
• Complainicus the Annoying: Veithryn (master of complaintrips)
• Cackitus Pam: Krow (interdimensional travelling magick)
• Hephaestus the Hasty: Marrick (Artifact creation)
• Rodney of Blasting: Sybion (Destruction magick)
• Foot the Vagidrian: Rotten (Poison Magic)
• Skivonicus the Indigo: Sky (Blue Magic)
• Euclid the Gold: Finn (Geometric Magic)
• Baracca the yet to be determined: Dagger (Shaman magic)

Acolytes

• Yolo the Yellow: Poo (blunt-rolling magick)
• Post-Humous the Destroyer: Postal (chaos magick)
• Dildongus the Diarrhea: Battle Christ (haggard magick)
• Mojito the Mexican: Ruben (latino magick)
• Bear (oso magick)

Affiliates

• Brodo Faggins: Ralimar (grill ass bird)
• Kidontis the Forever Young: Rope (youth magick)
• Cross the Frost Boss: Elerosse (ice magick)
• Kroncinox the Incinerator: Marduk (fire magick)
• Dillweed the Condiment: Dangus (flavor magick) (once, unheard-of since)
• Cevin the Chronicler: Cord (scribe/fanboy)
• Stichio the Corpse-Toucher: Stich (formerly a shaman-terrorist turned crack-rock golem turned time-warp demon tickler)
• The Sloth-Elk: Bran (slow, angry creature dude)
• Purple the Haze: Wadu (recently outed as a double agent working for The Witch Coven)

Battle Log

Chaos Wars 16

• The Storm of Chaos.

Chaos Wars 17

• The Witches Council, The Cult of Banzai, Blackwater Shaman Zombies, and Grand Iggi the Corrupted.

Chaos Wars 18

• The Son of the Storm of Chaos, The Plague Doctor, and the Foggy Demon.

Chaos Wars 19

• Ratchet the Gnoll Girl, Crybaby Pirates, & The Son of the Son of the Storm of Chaos (shittiest installment in the franchise yet).

Chaos Wars 20

• Brohemian Grove Blood Magick Millionaires featuring Donald Trump, Moloch, & The High Priest Beef Supreme. The Screech Witch. Aliens. And the quiet rise of the Assassins.

Chaos Wars 21

• No Wifi, Low Energy, Dehydration

p.s. You can be a member too! Just submit your resume' and the $20 (non-refundable) registration fee to any full-time members, to then be interviewed for a possible position amongst the council.